My Lord, What a Morning!

What a morning.  The kids were up by 6am, after the little one was up and down all night for no reason other than, I’m guessing, to test boundaries now that she is in her big girl bed and can open her bedroom door all by herself. I think she finally got about four hours of continuous sleep between 2 and 6, plus the few hours she got between 10 and 1:30ish. So she was in a dandy mood this morning. (insert sarcasm here)

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Plus, I had to go to the grocery store this morning. Hectic schedules, and work obligations that have kept one or both of us out of the house every evening for almost the last week, made this trip necessary.  I had practically nothing to pack in the kids’ lunches, and only had enough waffles for one of them to eat breakfast.  So, off to the grocery store I went at 7:30 this morning.  When I was finished shopping, the only checkout option was the self-checkout.  This wouldn’t normally be an issue to me, but apparently these particular self checkouts are the spawn of Satan and don’t like it if you touch the shopping bags as you’re filling them. So the cashier who was supervising the self-checkouts, had to override almost everything because I kept touching the bags to, you know, FILL THEM!!!! It took almost half an hour for me to check out of an almost-empty grocery store.

In the meantime, the kids were at home waiting for breakfast and driving Daddy nuts. By the time I got home, everyone was restless, and then came She-Who-Shall-Not-Sleep’s meltdown because I had finished unloading the lighter bags from the car before she had the chance to come help. She was mollified by the promise of getting to put away the yogurts in the fridge.  I made both girls breakfast, then She-Who-Shall-Not-Sleep became She-Who-Shall-Not-Sleep-Or-Eat, as she refused to eat any of her breakfast. But who cares.  At that point it was time for her to go to school. Food isn’t all that important, right?!

So, here it is, 10 in the morning, and I feel like I’ve already worked a full day.  I haven’t showered or gotten dressed (I wore slob clothes to the store–Clinton and Stacy from TLC’s What Not to Wear would have been appalled). Oh, and I haven’t even gone into work yet!

I don’t want to wish away my kids’ childhood.  I know that someday, the trials that we face with them today will be replaced with other challenges, complicated more by age and increased interaction with the world.  At the same time, hear me where I am *today.*  I am tired.  I am weary. And I’d like to get a full night’s sleep in my own bed without small people waking me up in the middle of the night, screaming out my name, and wiggling themselves and their pointy knees and elbows into my back and ribs while I sleep because they’ve crawled into *my* bed while I was passed out from the previous day’s (week’s, month’s) exhaustion. Enough is enough.

Parenting is not always fun. Not *every* moment is to be “treasured” or “cherished.” Sometimes, it just plain sucks and you want it to be over NOW. And that’s okay because we moms and dads are people too.  We don’t *have* to be happy all the time any more than our kids do. Not every day is a good day, but there is almost always something good in every day. Yesterday, it was my eldest daughter’s Pre-K graduation.  She was awesome.  And so grown-up.  And I cried out of pride for the little girl she is and the joy she brings into my life, and I cried in grief that she will be starting Kindergarten in the fall and I don’t know where the time has gone.

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I’m no parenting expert.  But if you struggle like this with your own kids, know that you are not alone.  You are not wrong for feeling how you feel.  It does not make you ungrateful. It does not make you weak. It does not make you a bad parent.  It makes you human.

2 thoughts on “My Lord, What a Morning!

  1. Your comment about not being a parental expert is too self deprecating. By your blog, I would say you are an expert.

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